Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparison takes place no matter what your age is you are always compared because of your habits and qualities on a daily basis.

Why do you compare with someone?

Everyone wants to live a successful life and parents wish the same for their children. But the comparison isn’t the right way to motivate them and push forward. Parents feel that this will enhance their child but the comparison will affect their confidence negatively.

As a human, we are always compared with each other. When I was a kid my family used to compare me with other kids. I was silent and so they used to say why you don’t talk much. Learn from your friends how to talk. Growing as a teenager my parents used to compare me with my friends. Your friends have so many talents and they are doing so well, you also learn to do such things.

This was about me but I have seen children comparing their parents or a couple comparing his/her partner with other couples. We are constantly comparing whether it is between people, the place where we live, or whatever it may be.

The comparison that kills you is you comparing yourself with others. I know it always happens when you see someone at first sight. You will compare your looks, the way you have dressed, your body with another person. But is it right? If that comparison is leading to a positive change in you then it is good but if not you should stop comparing yourself with others. Suppose I have a friend who is good at coding and singing and then I start comparing myself with her. What will happen when you will start comparing like this? The very first thing that will happen is you will doubt yourself; your confidence will fall off. You will criticize yourself; you will become angry or sad when that person achieves something great. One thing that happens here is waste of time and energy. You should be doing something productive but instead of that, you are wasting your time. You will start feeling worthless if you do such comparisons.

Focus on things you are good at and excel in it. No one is perfect, everyone has different interests so stop comparing yourself with others as it will only bring negativity to you. Some people compare themselves with the people who are doing badly with their lives. Suppose I secured 80 percent in my exam and another friend of mine scored 60 percent and seeing that I am feeling happy because I am superior in this case. Now I don’t know the reason behind her low grades, it may be because she is good at sports and she is playing at the national level and so she is unable to study or whatsoever is the reason. Your happiness should not rely on others.

You should not be happy or sad comparing yourself with others. Instead of that, you should compare with yourself as your interests are different, your goals are different. Look how much you have progressed or evolved after a month or year and if you are still at the same place, please go out of your comfort zone and try out things you always wanted to. In order to achieve something, you need to keep track of what and how you are doing not about what others are doing. If you have a goal to achieve, divide it into parts and work on it daily, be so busy living your life that you don’t have time to compare others. Keep an idol in front of you as motivation instead of comparing and I can guarantee you will go far away.

Positive effects:

1. When you see someone doing better than you, there comes a hope that you can also do that. It takes hard and smart work to achieve anything. There is nothing impossible to do but it depends upon interests.

2. When someone pokes you with the things you can’t do, it indirectly encourages you to do something remarkable and show others that you can also do it. It can help you set new goals and targets. Due to competitiveness, you push yourself more to do better.

3. Comparing your life with the people who have harder times than you can help you feel better. You will have gratitude for what you have.

4. Comparing to your role model will give you motivation and a pathway on which you can walk. Everyone’s path to reach a goal is different but a role model can inspire you to achieve what you want to accomplish.

How to stop comparing

Negative effects:

1. When children are compared with others it will increase rivalry, they will feel insecure and they’ll start distancing away from people and their parents.

2. Constant comparison can diminish the self-confidence of a person and usually kids. They’ll start feeling that they are not good at anything and this may hinder their growth. Due to this, they will not try anything and this will lead to a carefree attitude.

3. Comparing yourself to others will make things difficult for you. You will become sad, incapable of doing anything which will lead to misery and pain. Instead of that try hard work which will make you reach goals.

4. While comparing your lives with others we forget that everyone has problems in their life which you don’t know. So don’t think that a person has a perfect life. Our struggle defines who we are. So next time, know what the other person has gone through while comparing your lives.

Conclusion:

You can be anything but you can’t be everything. When you compare others you are comparing their best features against your average feature. If this happens it will lead to self-destruction. Not just children but parents also need to understand that their children are not decorative pieces to know everything. Every child has different interests and you can’t force them to do a thing just because you like it or others are doing it. Moreover, people won’t see what are you doing or what are you good at. They’ll compare and judge you by the things you don’t do.