Perks of Breakup

“I don’t wanna marry you. I'm done with you. Let's breakup and bring this relationship to an end." these words were echoing in my head. One day while sitting on a hill cliff I asked her about taking our relationship to the next stage and marry each other. Her reaction broke me into pieces. The smile which was the reason behind my happiness has now turned into my worst nightmare. I started feeling everything is becoming worse and I can see my health degrading because of it. Nights became insomniac due to her memories; it affected my work and behavior with my family. “Is this the way I am gonna live my life?” Forgetting her was not easy but I have to do it for myself and my family.

I don't know who needs to hear this but "Heartbreak is necessary", you must be thinking am I crazy but I am speaking the truth. As a kid, you think every person is good as you aren't aware of the world's harsh reality. As you grow up you are exposed to thousands of people and their evil minds. Everyone seeks you for some benefit and throw away when their work is done. In a world full of fake people find someone who genuinely cares for you. Heartbreak isn't something just with your lover, it can be with your friend, your parents, or anyone whom you love, have trust in. Heartbreak can affect us both positively and negatively, it depends upon what and how we choose to. Below are some things that a heartbreak teaches us.

What broken heart teaches you?

1. Heartbreak will bring back to reality

Remember the first time you had a heartbreak whatsoever be the reason. Being a kid you were innocent but as you grow reality hits you hard. In the Love life, after having a heartbreak you understand there is nothing like a fairytale. We are brought up with all the good things which are shown in novels and movies which take you to fairyland and raise your expectations. People change and their priorities change. Sometimes you are important to someone and a day comes when they leave you. You get shattered and it hurts like hell but heartbreaks can only bring you back from that dreamy zone to reality.

2. Know your worth

Being in a friendship or relationship you keep your ego, self-respect, and everything aside just to be with that people and make her/him happy. People test your patience level with their behavior and then comes a point when you get tired of doing things because you are no longer valued or treated well. There’s gonna come a moment when you will realize your worth and prioritize yourself. You will do things that make you happy. Everything you do will be only for yourself and not for any other person.

3. Life still goes on

When you like a person or want a person, you start spending more time with them and slowly it will become your habit to spend time with that person and always be available for them. You become so dependent on that person that it becomes hard to imagine our life without that person. But guess what you are fully capable of doing things with or without that person. Some people are so immersed that they think of giving up on their lives just because of an asshole. You may be heartbroken and missing them but you won’t die for sure.

4. A broken heart makes for a great art

A heartbroken person truly makes great art. You can see all those memories coming out from someone's music, writing, painting, and other things too. Some of the great literature, music, and art are inspired by love turned sour. If you are a creative person or even if you aren’t, you should channelize that pain to make something beautiful.

5. Learning from a relationship

I strongly believe that whatever you are facing now is making you stronger for your future. So if you had a heartbreak, maybe someone better is gonna enter into your life. So many times people don’t value your efforts, the love you have for them. So maybe you will meet a friend or a partner who will value you and love you equally. If the person you love left you because of some habits of yours then look for them and try to improve yourself not for your ex but for you to become a better person. With this experience, you will understand what you deserve because you are special so never settle for less.

6. You’ll be free

If your partner or friend was toxic for you then you will be free for sure. No one likes toxicity in their life. It starts becoming more toxic when a person closer to you is hurting you or affecting you and your mood badly. Keeping your mental health into consideration it is good to leave that person. Just because that person is close to you or your family are connected doesn't mean you will stay with him/her.

Conclusion:

You are going to meet people who will break you down but you shouldn't lose hope in love. Everything happens for a reason and so this situation will make you stronger. At such times don’t think about “Why is this happening to me?” instead think about “What I should learn from it?” Even a tree shed all of the leaves during fall before the new leaves grow. In the same way, you need to fall to grow.

Choosing priorities in life

Priority is an important thing, right? We, humans, do things which we like meaning we have decided the importance of things which we want and you probably won't do things which don't even matter to you. Everyone's priority is diverse and therefore the things they achieve are different. But priority changes with time and the things which were important for you before are not even in your priority list.

Why priority changes?

With passing time you grow older and understand the importance of things. Being a kid your priority must be playing all day but as you grow older you prioritize your career while some people still play but now it is with people’s feelings and heart. The same thing applies everywhere starting with friendships to your love life. When you are willing to cross your boundaries for someone and they aren’t ready that means you aren’t their priority. Two people who used to be madly in love with each other don't want to see each other's faces anymore this is because of the things they have experienced. People change because of the experiences they get, the things they see around them, and the knowledge they gain. These things are enough to change the mind and so responsible for priorities to change.

Learn to prioritize things

No one knows the future so be careful while prioritizing things. If you are in love with someone, don't spend the entire time with that person, know that your career, family, and friends are equally important. Just like a vehicle needs four wheels to move forward similarly your life needs everyone. If you’ll just hold on to one person you’ll start losing others. Taking people granted considering they’ll always stay with you is wrong as everyone has limits so don’t run behind one thing and forget other things.

Priority is shown by action and not by words

Everyone knows this right? However, it takes time to understand this through heartbreaks and experiences. Even though you have experienced it, you may still fall for someone’s words. You’ll meet a lot of people who will act well in front of you and bitch around your back. So you should be careful about whom you are considering your friend. Another thing is, people will say, “I love you and I can’t live without you. You are important to me.” You will hear this everywhere but wait, don’t get fooled by words. Believe people when they show it through their actions. "Action speaks louder than words", it is a saying because of a reason, the sooner you will understand better it will be for you. So be careful about what people say and what their actions prove.

Prioritize yourself

Usually, we give more priority to other people than focusing on yourself. You care about a person and you show it by prioritizing them but forget to prioritize yourself. Sometimes you run after a person who has broken you or is least interested in you but you don't give up on that person. I know it is easy for me to say that prioritize yourself, unlove that person but it won't happen in one go. Boom! The feelings are gone. No, it ain't that easy. But once you get that red flag or see that the person is taking you for granted, slowly stop doing things. I know you can't unlove a person within a day as you don't decide whom to love, you don't purposely develop feelings for a person but you certainly know when to stop. When there is no value for you, just leave. Giving a chance is okay but losing yourself is not okay.

It's all about you, no matter what efforts you put for people they'll never see it. I think rather than getting hurt it's good to put your boundaries which will not hurt you and make them feel you are still the same. You surely can’t forgive someone every time and act as if nothing happened. You keep on caring about them and they don't give a damn about you, they have more important priorities than you and it'll be good for you to accept it. Everyone doesn't see you the way you see them so behave accordingly.

Conclusion:

There is a difference between prioritizing things and running after them. Make sure not to prioritize the wrong things which will make you regret in the future. There is a difference between prioritizing and breaking the contacts so don't go for the second option. Don't prioritize the wrong person which will take you to nowhere. Focusing on your career is a great thing but give time for other things too. Never take your closed ones for granted just because they don't say anything.

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